i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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