Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I checked into jail on foursquare
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
