I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize