worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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