I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
