No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
