okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
