Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
