Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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