They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
