Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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