He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
