I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No subtext here. People are naked.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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