if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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