Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
