You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
