How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
