I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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