Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
