Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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