so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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