can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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