i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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