I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
