Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my cats smell like pot.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The Olympian is in my bed
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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