I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize