Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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