whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
