We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Acid is not a monday night drug
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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