people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
not ubering you a puppy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think my moral compass just broke
Shame - the story of my life.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
