after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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