I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize