would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
