halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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