Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize