I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensiveâ€¦ Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?