uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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