I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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