Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
