I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
