ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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