I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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