I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You have to summon your inner elephant
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
