Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
