Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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