Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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