Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
soo... how was my night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
