Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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