i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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