true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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