i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
