I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
