We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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