oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
