Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
