what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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