I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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