i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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