The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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