Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
