my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
