Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
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he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
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Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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