Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
