he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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