it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
