Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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