Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
