He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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